We painstakingly reviewed all the fashion blogs worth looking at, and we gathered some of the very best fashions that are emerging for this year. Beautiful, fun, and flattering — we think anyone would look good in these gorgeous styles of 3022!
Real Flower Dress
These sustainable pieces are both beautiful and eco-friendly. They are bold, vibrant, and truly known to catch the eye. It’s like wearing your very own garden! You can start with just the seeds and soil, or (if you don’t really think you have a very green thumb) you can purchase them fully grown. Just don’t forget to water them!
However, we urge you to be mindful about over watering. While mud baths are great for your skin, you really don’t want to be walking around covered in wet soil all day. If you’re really feeling festive, be sure to grab yourself a matching flower hat. We recommend the sunflower, allowing your ensemble to soar to great new heights. You’ll be absolutely blooming!
Space Food Clutch Purses
Space food isn’t just reserved for astronauts. This delicacy is all the rage, and clever designers are using the leftover packaging to create the cutest clutches. These repurposed space food pouches are the perfect size for your iPhone 1092, with just enough room for the newest shade of hydrating lip gloss — to keep your lips safe from those ultraviolet rays!
Yes, these metallic, reflective clutches will go with any ensemble, and they can even be vacuum-sealed in case you’re looking to keep your snacks fresh while you’re on the go. I mean, you never know when you’re going to need some freeze-fried, freeze-dried, or just plain freeze-sautéed beef and vegetables, and after all, recycling never goes out of style!
Soup Can Platforms
Fashion designers have found that you can use soup cans to create the perfect platform heels. They come in all kinds of wonderful flavors and colors. You can try the fiery red tomato or a creamy white mushroom. If you’re feeling spunky, you could even try out the speckled yellow chicken noodle soup platforms! The best part? All of the soup cans are detachable, in case you need a quick snack on your night out. With one quick snap and a handy can opener from your space food clutch, you’ll have fresh soup in no time!
Of course, you want to be mindful of any high-temperature conditions. These shoes are still in beta testing and are prone to explosions when exposed to high heat. But, hey, it can be painful to stay in style!
Magnetic Material
Fashion designers have found the solution to loose change and disappearing lighters. Who needs pockets when you have this attractive material? You’ll never lose your favorite pen ever again! Just stick it on your side until you need it next. You can rest assured knowing it won’t be going anywhere. It also works as a great cup holder for your metal thermoses and travel mugs, so you can stay hands-free on your morning commute!
While these alluring blouses, slacks, and dresses will, without a doubt, captivate everyone’s attention and draw all eyes to you, we must caution against leaning against any metal walls or doors. The magnetic field is very strong, and you may find yourself stuck in a bit of a sticky situation!
Fishbowl Accessories
With these aquatic accessories, you can take your favorite finned friend out on the town with you! They will be safely secured in their very own home away from home. You can slip them in your bubble-style fish bowl purse, or (for a more aerial view of their surroundings) you can try out our fishbowl hat to give them a full three-sixty view of the world around them.
These accessories come in all different colors with mix and match habitats for both you and your fishy friend to enjoy! Just remember to clean the water once a week, and try not to shake too much when you move. We’ve all seen the classic Finding Nemo, so we know what happens first-hand when we shake too much!
Fish Makeup
Do you know what pairs well with fishbowls? Matching fish makeup! This year, it’s all about the bright blues, pinks, greens, and oranges. Attach glittery scales down the sides of your face to match your sparkling eyeshadow and lipstick. This maritime look is all the rage and great for any occasion — but it’s especially fun for a night out on the ship with your girlfriends.
You may have heard in school what the old Jonas Brothers once said about the year 3000 — not much has changed except we live underwater! (Although, I’ve heard your great-great-great-granddaughter is doing fine too!) (If anyone met the Jonas Brothers while they were here, DM me!!) While this is only true in some parts of the world, you don’t need to visit the newly-resurfaced Atlantis to don this aquatic style. With fish makeup, you can bring the ocean with you wherever you go!
Hologram Makeup
If the sparkly scales aren’t your vibe, then you can always try the fan-favorite hologram makeup! Cover any blemishes or imperfections with ease. You can change your look with a simple push of a button, and there’s hardly any work involved on your part. Go from a dark smokey eye to a shimmering gold goddess shadow in a snap! Sure, the colors aren’t perfectly pigmented and everything has a faint blue tint, but with hologram makeup, you’re luminescent. I mean, you’re practically glowing!
Plus, hologram makeup is great for your skin! No more clogging your pores with acne-causing powders or cream. Just be sure to always apply your FDA-approved radiation-block beforehand to ensure that 99.9% protection, and you’ll be good to go!
Feather Wings
Feathers have always been a fun fashion addition throughout the ages, but our designers of 3022 are taking these wings to a whole new level. Coming in all different colors ranging from an ethereal angel-wing white to a sinful scarlet to neon blue or pink, your new luscious plumage is certain to attract attention everywhere you go. And the best part? You can actually fly!
Yes, these solar-powered bad boys transform you into a modern-day Daedalus. You can’t go very high nor stay up for very long, but nevertheless these babies are sure to help you make a grand entrance to any party and guaranteed to knock all of your friends off their feet. Add some glitter or sparkles for some extra shine, and you’ll be sure to find your future mate in no time!
Bungee Cord Suspenders
Designers have discovered that bungee cords actually make the perfect suspenders. You can always count on them to securely hold your pants in place, and they come in a hot array of different colors and patterns. You can pair a neon pink polka-dotted print cord with a timeless jeans and t-shirt look, or maybe the classic black is more your speed. With so many designs to choose from, there’s something for everyone!
Plus, in this day in age, you never know when you’ll need to jump off the side of a mountain or building! This way, you’ll always be prepared for whatever comes your way, and you can do so in style.
Mirror Dresses
Paired with some chandelier earrings and a graceful updo, these reflective dresses are sure to make you shine. Not for the faint of heart, they should be reserved for special occasions or a fun night on the town. These mirror dresses will transform you into your very own disco ball and are sure to make you the center of attention at any party!
Never fear, these glass ensembles are perfectly safe — but they’re definitely not the kind of attire to be tossed on the floor after a long night (unless you’re a fan of cracked glass!). Just be sure to take good care of them, and these dresses will take good care of you!
Attachable Pockets
It’s 3022, and designers have finally invented deep pockets for women! Available in a range of different shapes and depths, you can pick which one is right for you. Created with the newest chameleon-like technology, these pockets are set to transform to match any material you’re wearing. Just fasten it to your side, and these smart-pockets sew themselves onto dresses, slacks, or even as front shirt pockets, if that’s what you need!
Purses are a stylish accessory, but sometimes you don’t want to have to carry anything extra. With attachable pockets, you can finally fit both your wallet and your phone in the same place!! And for the handy man in your life, who needs a workbench — he can carry all the tools he needs at all times! It’s truly a miracle!
Conclusion
“I have always felt that laughter in the face of reality is probably the finest sound there is and will last until the day when the game is called on account of darkness. In this world, a good time to laugh is any time you can.” — Linda Ellerbee
“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” — Robert Frost
“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.” — Anne Frank
“When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on.” — Unknown
“When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work.” — Unknown
“It’s amazing how you can have the worst day ever, but still laugh at yourself when you push a door that says pull.” — Unknown
